Prairie Wind Writing Centre

Photography can be combined with almost any writing strategy. In this newsletter we will use “Free Fall writing”.

Place yourself in a setting which you are comfortable. Get into a situation of silence and solitude. Let the inner chatter drift away. If the chatter persists, write it down until it subsides.

Then, sit quietly with the photograph (below) in front of you, preferable with it propped against something so you can look at it and it can look back at you. Wait in silence. Begin writing when a voice seems to speak. It may be yours. It may seem to come from the photograph. It is important to simply let the process unfold.

At some point, the flow of ideas will cease. This free fall writing is best done without fussing about sentence structure, spelling, grammar, or logic.

Rehearsals

For this example, we are using the strategy of imagining a rehearsal of a scene, where you’re being asked for something that you are neither willing nor able to say “NO“.

This is a lesson that every individual needs to practice in order to protect themselves from a life of unreasonable service to the “privileged” in our lives.

The expression, “This is no time to learn to swim when you are drowning” fits here.

Rehearsing “no” in your mind to an anticipated request is not the same as saying “no” to someone who is standing in front of you.

Julie Murphy says, “Tone is the hardest part of saying no.” When we feel pressured to say “yes”, we may respond with defensiveness, annoyance, or with childlike submission. By practicing, we develop that ability to stay focused on the request and the answer. Writing out the rehearsal helps, deepening the experience and slowing down the story as it unfolds.

It is useful to practice saying “no” in situations that have low emotional overtones. What would one or two of those situations be for you? Perhaps it is as simple as how to say “no” to someone who wants you to have a second helping of desert. Write out your response. Practice it out loud in front of mirror or on a recording.

Move on to more challenging situations. Who is the person? What is the context? What do you see as the consequences for yourself and/or for the requester?

Then, write out your response. Short is good. A brief explanation may be appropriate. Review your rehearsal for the “detours to “no”. Rewrite it until you are satisfied. Practice. Invite someone that you trust to listen and provide you with feedback.

If you have issues about saying “no” in office contexts you may benefit from the use of a template. “Office ninjas” offers templates for responding to e mails asking you to do various things to which you want to respond politely with a “no”.

Metaphor

A metaphor compares one thing to another in a figurative sense. Also could be more in an ironic sense rather than a literal sense.

By using a metaphor, we bypass logic. We can describe an aspect of life by comparing it to something actually unrelated in a humorous way, but projects a quality.

A metaphor conjures up a simple image.

For example:

• My test was a breeze.
• He is as strong as an ox.
• She is behaving like an entitled princess.
• My upbringing was a nightmare.
• Their life is a bed of roses.

When you think of your life, what metaphor would describe the life that you’re leading?

_____________________

Once you have chosen a metaphor, expand the metaphor by personalizing it. Example: My life is like a roller derby.

Everyone else seems so aggressive. I just keep going round and round.

I feel the pressure to win.

In order to continue, I intend to …. 

Testing your resolve

How long does it take to develop a new practice or release an old one?

The time that it takes varies. It varies depending on our level of commitment, the practice you are developing, and the support you have or need. With a “thirty-day challenge”, it is common to successfully establish a new healthy ritual.

However, choose the duration that you prefer, if you differ.

A duration too short will be ineffective; A duration too long will be tedious.

Thirty-day challenge:

• Identify a new practice that you want to develop or an old one you want to release.
• Write out clearly what you will practice each day for 30 days. Keep it simple.
• Include writing about your practice each day.
• Print out a one-month calendar. Each day that you do the ritual, cross off one day.
• At the end of a month, reflect on how your developing practice is progressing.

 Strategy of the Month

      Letters

The art of letter writing was once a primary means of communication. Letters, (sent or unsent), allow us to put our thoughts and feelings onto paper as if we are speaking to someone. Letters give us a voice. In letters, we can express the entire range of our emotional response, from gratitude to resentment and beyond. Often letters are a way of dealing with “unfinished” business.  John Evans in an article published in the March 24, 2014 edition of

Psychology Today suggests various motivations that lend themselves to letter writing that include but are not limited to offering condolences, asking forgiveness, or expressing gratitude.

Letters that you intend to send will hopefully have a positive intent and a measured tone. If you have any hesitancy in sending a letter with strong emotional content, let it sit for a few days. Revisit the letter asking yourself, “How would I feel it I received this letter?”

Unsent letters allow us an uncensored one-way conversation with someone. You can even write a letter to someone who is no longer present in our life. Begin by writing whatever you want to say. You can write more than one draft of a letter. With each draft, your thoughts may further clarify. You can also experiment with writing letters of various lengths about the same issue.

     Priming the pump

Who would appreciate receiving a letter from you? What do you hope the tone and content of it would be?

Who would you appreciate receiving a letter from?  What do you hope the tone and content of the letter might be?

Write one or more of the letters reflecting the tone and content of your choice.

Be sure to take a moment after writing to ask yourself,

• “What am I noticing about the content of what I have written?”
• “What am I noticing about how I felt about the writing?”

Contrasting Strategy

Contrasting is a writing strategy that gives us an opportunity to see the world through different lenses. You can contrast different kinds of people. You can contrast the difference between two events. You can contrast best and worst scenarios.

For practice, just write about one of the most lighthearted situations you have ever experienced. Be sure to share the who, what, why, where, and when of the situation. Tell the reader any detail you can remember including colors, smells, textures, and sounds.

Then just write about one of the most disheartening situations you have ever experienced. Be sure to share the who, what, why, where, and when of the situation. Tell the reader any detail you can remember including colors, smells, textures, and sounds.

Then reflect on how you felt in each of the situations and how you felt even as you wrote them. What did you notice about lightheartedness contrasted with heavy heartedness?

There are three points of view in writing. First person is very personal and uses pronouns such as “I” and “me”. Second person writing uses “you” and “yours”. Writing in the third person is writing from a third-person perspective, as an outsider looking in and uses pronouns like “he”, “she”, or “they” while referring to themselves. By writing in the third person, the writer stands back, or outside of the situation with the intention of seeing the situation more objectively.          

Think about a caregiving relationship that you are in or may be in at some point. You may be surprised to realize you are already in a caregiving relationship whether it be with children, family, neighbors, or colleagues. Before writing, take a moment to review the questions below and reflect on your caregiving situation.

• What is your relationship to the person you are caring for?
• What condition are they suffering from?
• What is being expected of you?
• What is the expected duration of the caregiving?
• What are the other demands in your life?
• What experience do you have with caregiving?
• What are the expectations you have of yourself in the situation?
• What expectations does our culture impose on you?
• What resources are available to you?
• What support do you have for yourself?
• How are unexpected events, like Covid-19, influencing your caregiving?
• What is a reasonable objective for your short term and long term caregiving?

Once you have considered the questions, please describe your caregiving relationship in the third person. Use “he or she” even though you are writing about your own life.

After writing your journal in the third person, then write what you are noticing about the total writing experience and what you are noticing about the content of the written piece.

Here is an example of the beginning of written journal: (Remember, Grant is writing about his own situation):

Grant is a 57 year old executive who has retired early in order to be the primary caregiver for Margaret, his wife of 34 years. They have had a rewarding marriage and share three children and 4 grandchildren, who unfortunately do not live close by. Margaret was for the most part of a stay at home mom. Grace, Margaret’s sister, works full time at her job but helps take care of Margaret in her spare time.

Grant is finding the challenges of the food preparation daunting due to Margaret’s special dietary considerations during chemotherapy. His project management skills are put to good use coordinating appointments, medications, home care, and therapies involved in what they hope will lead to recovery. He and Grace, however, recognize that Margaret’s condition is likely progressive.

Grant would continue to write in the “third” person as the entry continued. He might go on to write about feelings, challenges, or special moments. He writes as if he is describing himself as a third person.

Please read several of the essays on the “This I believe” website, then write your own essay espousing what you believe about some aspect of life. The site has generously provided guidelines which are as follows:

Tell a story about you. Explain the circumstances that shaped your core values.  Be specific. Describe moments when a belief was formed or tested or changed. Think of your own experience, work and family. Your story need be neither heartwarming nor gut-wrenching. It can even be funny but it should be real. Tie the story to the essence of your philosophy of life.

Be brief: Your statement should be between 500-600 words.

Be positive: Write about what you believe, not what you don’t believe. Avoid statements of religious dogma, preaching, or editorializing.

Be personal: Make your essay about you; speak in the first person. Avoid using “we”. Tell a story about your own life. This is not an opinion piece about social ideals. Write in words and phrases that are comfortable for you to speak. The recommendation is that you read your essay aloud to yourself several times, editing it until you have the words and tone that truly echo your beliefs and the way you speak.